You and I’ve been through much too much
We got stories others just can’t touch
What we call love others call a hassle
All I wanna say is merry Christmas asshole
Some celebrate by trading gifts
We just sit there looking pissed
We both think we could do so much better
Looking all grumpy in our Christmas sweaters
Santa got your note
No he won’t take out a hit
That’s not how the big man works
We have to clean up our own shit
Cause we’re just too ornery for anyone else
Holidays spent all by ourselves
The gifts we got are the same as last year
A roomful of sorrow and a 6 pack of beer
We are all we got
In spite of all of our woe
Just give it one more shot
hit me under the mistletoe
So come here baby, now don’t be sad
You and I can’t be all that bad
No one else’s even comes near
We got our own brand of Christmas cheer
Maybe for tonight let’s not fight but raise a glass
Just wanna hear you say Merry Christmas my sweet ass
Merry Christmas Asshole
Once again, once again.